Monthly Archives: October 2012

Things That Annoy Me: October Edition

1) People who use the word less in place of fewer. It hurts my brain when I hear this. It seems everyone is doing it lately. Or maybe I’ve just been noticing it more. Either way – AUGGHHHH!!! For more information on the correct usage of these two words, check out Oxford.

2) The US presidential election coming up. Specifically anything to do with Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan and their policies regarding Planned Parenthood, women’s rights and LGBT rights. I know I’m Canadian and whoever gets voted into the White House technically doesn’t affect me and my livelihood. But man, US politics really riles me up.

3) Honey Boo Boo and the rest of reality TV. I don’t even watch TV anymore and I’m sick of the Real Housewives, Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants, Dancing with the Stars, etc. Apparently anyone can be a celebrity if you’re annoying and stupid enough.

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Thanksgiving Stuffing

This post is just a reminder about how to make the stuffing I made this year which was a big hit with those who actually ate it (which was only half of the people at dinner).

Ingredients
1 tbsp butter
1 lb ground sausage
1/3 cup of butter
1/2 onion, chopped
2 stalks of celery, chopped
4-5 white button mushrooms, chopped
4 tbsp cup of chopped parsley (I just used the kind in the tube)
1 loaf of bread, torn into cubes (I don’t like to use premade or dried bread cubes)
1/2 tsp poultry seasoning
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp dried marjoram
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1.5-2 cups chicken broth
2 eggs beaten

Directions
1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2) In large saucepan, melt 1 tbsp butter over medium heat. Cook ground sausage until brown, breaking up pieces. Drain & set aside. Clean saucepan.

3)  Melt 1/3 cup of butter over medium heat. Cook onions, celery, mushrooms & parsley until softened, about 5 mins.

4) Meanwhile, in large bowl, mix together bread cubes with poultry seasoning, oregano, basil, thyme, marjoram, salt & black pepper. Spoon sausage & cooked vegetables over bread cubes & mix.

5) Pour broth, 1/2 cup at a time over bread cubes until thoroughly moistened. Mix in eggs.

6) Transfer to casserole dish and bake uncovered for 45mins.

Yield
6-8 servings

 

*Adapted from this recipe.

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And For My 32nd Birthday…

For my 32nd birthday yesterday, I was given a great present. A reminder of a big life lesson. I was reminded that I need to keep my happiness a priority in life.

By nature, I’m non-confrontational, which may be nicer way of saying I’m a doormat. If someone’s being mean to me, I’ll usually just be quiet and swallow it. I’m not someone who calls you out on your bad behaviour even if I think it’s really shitty.

This was the situation I was presented with last night, hanging out with some coworkers after a few drinks. One of them was being a dick, acting more aggressive and cutting than usual towards me. I was feeling confused and hurt by it, but just tried to shrug it off as me taking things too seriously. (“Just let it go,” I kept repeating to myself.) But halfway through the night, I came to the realization. I don’t have to be there and keep taking it.

So I asked my friend to take me home. I know some of the others wanted me to stay. It was my birthday and the night was still young (not even 9pm). But I didn’t want to stay so someone could keep throwing little jabs and biting remarks at me. I didn’t want to call him on it, but I didn’t need to stay and take it.

So I left.

Because I know I won’t say anything, but there’s no need to pretend everything is fine.

Because my own happiness is important to me.

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Dear Someone

Dear Someone,

I came to a realization the other day.

I was sitting in my bathtub, shaving my legs and deep in thought about other things than the immediate task at hand. It was then that I had a passing thought about you. And it was then that I realized, it had been a few days since I last had a passing thought about you.

It only took almost thirteen years, but I no longer think about you everyday. Not in passing, not in mourning. I no longer think about how much you hurt me, violated my trust and innocence and how you irrevocably changed everything about our relationship. I don’t have a half a second flash where I recall how horrible that morning was. I don’t have a moment where I have to catch my breath when I fantasize how different my life could have been had that morning never happened.

We don’t speak any longer except at rare family gatherings where I have to be in your presence. You know why I stay away. You know when I’ve never said a word to your wife or your children. You know that I’d rather pretend you don’t exist than to keep up the pretence of normality. And I’m glad that you at least grant me that and don’t push for more.

With thirteen years distance, I can see how much that night was such a turning point in my life. Yes, I was already off making too many mistakes with too many boys. I was already trying as hard as I could to fuck up my life — what with my newfound taste for freedom. I loved it and indulged. Perhaps too much. But that didn’t mean that I deserved to have that trust that I placed in you broken to teach me a lesson.

When I think back now, about redoing things, about whether it was me who acted stupid, about whether I should have known better than to trust you, about whether I was wrong to put myself in such a vulnerable position… I don’t think I did anything wrong. I should have been able to trust you; you were my own family.

I know it’s foolish to contemplate how different my life could have been. I can’t go back and change things. But I do wonder. Would I have been so eager to look for acceptance in men who were so emotionally distant? Would I have placed my self-worth so low? Would I have been so happy to compromise myself so willingly?

Sometimes I get sad, thinking about who I became because of that one morning. Sometimes I mourn, thinking about who I was, who I could have been if it never happened.

But I’m not as sad anymore now.

Everyday, I think about you less and less. Someday I hope to never think about you at all.

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